You want to trust your teen, but you don’t want to be naive. Should you allow teen privacy? If so, how much privacy should you give your teen?

Photo by Charlie Balch/SXC

Be Smart With Teen Privacy

As they leave childhood, teens are going through a lot of tough hormonal and emotional changes. They really need some down time to process what they are feeling. They may withdraw from family events and become less communicative or even throw a pouting, whining fit that puts their two year old performances to shame.

If you don’t allow your teen to have any privacy, he or she may become rebellious and frustrated. On the other hand, you don’t want to give your teen so much privacy that you end up discovering a nice crop of illegal substance producing plants in the bedroom closet under some high powered grow lights! Balancing your child’s need for privacy with your need to keep him or her safe can be tough, but it is doable.
Privacy Builds Trust

When you give your teen privacy, you are demonstrating that you feel like he or she is trustworthy and will act more responsibly than younger siblings.

Before you begin offering more privacy to your teen, you may want to have a talk. Explain that you want to give him or her more privacy during the teenage years because he or she is maturing and growing into a trustworthy person, but that privacy is a privilege that should not be abused. Talk about the fact that trust is hard to regain once it is lost and you both need to act in a way that is trustworthy.

Privacy Helps Teens Make Good Choices On Their Own

If a teen never has privacy, he or she won’t ever become independent or self reliant. Instead of making choices on his or her own, your teen will have you there to make the choices. While this may seem like good parenting, you can’t always be there as your teen grows up. Provide guidance and then back off to let your child make the final choice as much as possible.
Of course, giving your teen privacy doesn’t mean allowing your child to do whatever he or she wants and it doesn’t mean you should allow your child to hide in the bedroom instead of ever interacting with the rest of the family. Balancing your child’s safety with a need for privacy may make you feel like you’re walking a tightrope, but, even if there are a few missteps on both sides, you and your teen will figure it out.

Teen Privacy Resources:

I Can’t Believe You Went Through My Stuff!: How to Give Your Teens the Privacy They Crave and the Guidance They Need