Funny Kid Friday – I’m Not Eating that Pizza!

Almost in tears, my little reader shakily says, “That sign says Pizza Boy.”
Wondering why she is upset, I say, “Uh, huh.”
“Do they really make pizza from little boys there?”

Funny Kid Friday – Yes, W, There is a Santa Claus

Little W and his mom were in the car when his mom spotted an airplane. Knowing he could hear but not see the plane, she said, “Oh, look! Santa’s doing a test run!”
Little W responded in a disgusted tone. “No, he’s not.”
“Don’t you believe in Santa Claus?”
“Of course I do. I just don’t believe in [...]

Where’s the Crunch?

The little guy eats his dinner and anxiously inquires if there are any more “Crunchy Delicious” to eat.
“Crunchy Delicious?” I’m frantically thinking of every dessert like item that is crunchy.
Chips? Popcorn? Granola? No, none of those.
I investigate further. Is it something he had recently? Oh, something we bought today? Butterscotch Krimpets?
“Yes! [...]

The Grossest Dinner Idea Ever…

So, I’m talking to the middle kid and say, “Don’t forget there’s a scout meeting tomorrow.”
The youngest overhears and is practically in tears as he protests, “But I don’t want to do scabby eating.”
Umm. Neither do I, kiddo. Neither do I.

Funny Kid Friday – Jesus Is a Drummer

So, there was a big storm, complete with tornado warnings coming through the other day. We lost power and the thunder was really rumbling. The little guy looked out the window and said, “Jesus, stop drumming. It’s too loud and it is making it thunder down here!”
Cutest explanation for thunder I’ve ever heard!

Funny Kid Friday – Exercise Your Funny Bone

I heard the telltale thumping of a kid jumping on the bed and hurried into the room to tell the culprit to stop. She looked up at me and responded, “I’m not jumping on the bed. I’m doing hangups.”
“Hangups?”
She demonstrated by doing a pretty good pushup.

Funny Kid Friday – So That’s How You Grow Hair on Your Chest

I came upon the little guy patting his head and looking anxiously inside his shirt at the same time.
“What’s up, Hon?”
“Did my hair grow?”
“Since your haircut, you mean?”
“Since I ate a piece of hair.”
Umm, ick. After I got over that statement, I gave a quick how hair is made lesson. Turns out he didn’t want [...]

Funny Kid Friday – Coffee Stunts Your Growth

So, everyone has answered little W’s request for coffee with, “It’ll stunt your growth, Hon,” or something similar whenever he asks to drink it. He decided it would do even more:
“I’m going to drink a lot of coffee so I can shrink and go back to my four class. I love my four class teacher.”
After [...]

Funny Kid Friday – Hiding

The little guy was scooting around on the floor with his eyes scrunched shut and his fingertips pressed to his eyelids.
“What are you doing, Hon?”
“Hiding from you.”
“I can still see you.”
“No you can’t. I can’t see you.”
Ah, the old ostrich head in the hole concept.

Funny Kid Friday

Kids. They’re funny. If the ones I know say or do something that cracks me up, I’m going to share it on Funny Kid Friday. Today’s kid story comes from little W, who was hanging out with his grandma in her computer room this morning.
“Grams, can I go outside to play?”
“We’ll have to check the [...]